Thanks anyway

I think you should know, I'm a whiner. I often feel sorry for myself. True story. I do.

As a young mom and housewife, I often feel like I spend all my time working effortlessly to do things for my family that no one appreciates. And unlike some people, I take no pleasure in martyrdom. It's unrewarding. And I take little pride in being self-sacrificing unless someone is there to see it and reward me with a cookie...there, I said it.

Now, lately I've been feeling extra sorry for myself due to an overall increase in the stress level at the Morgan house. Tension is high and there is little room for praise and adoration for mommy, which is no good, seeing as how I need those things. And I have felt like an annoyance to my husband and a tyrant to my kids. And I want to believe that I don't deserve to feel that way, but the truth is...

I am chief of sinners. I hate being submissive. I am a tyrant to my kids. I completely lack self-control, and I hate being selfless, even when it's absolutely necessary. And no, I'm not just being self-deprecating. There are things I do like about myself-probably too many for me to NOT be considered a little vain, but in a stroke of grace I realize that I too often find myself complacent in my sin. And I'm saddened at my measly attempts to justify myself and feel self-righteous. What am I thinking? I'm saddened that my family has to live with me this way most of the time and I'm grateful that they love me, even in this messy state that I'm in.

Thanks guys.

And at the risk of seeming a little melodramatic...

The past five years have been filled to the brim with laughter, tears, hard work, laziness, selfishness, self-sacrifice, loneliness, companionship, snuggles, conversations to be proud of, and conversations that are best stored in the repressed memory section of your brain. In all these, Brandon, I love you. And I'm grateful for you.

I poorly suffice to give you the thanks you deserve for putting up with me in my radiantly sinful glory. I'm so thankful to be the girl next to you in family photos, and I'm proud of you for your hard work and obvious sacrifice. This home is the happy, comfortable place that it is because of your passion for the gospel and understanding of grace and sufficiency in Christ.

Thank you so much for being the strong leader that I absolutely require, but never deserve. Pin It