"Everything Looks Perfect from Far Away"

The fire is hot this season. Really hot. And my only hope upon realizing myself in this fire is that I can come out on the other side a little more new.

Yesterday, I watched my husband sell his old identity for a measly month and a half of rent money.

I'll explain.

For as long as I have known him, I could categorize the space in his heart by three earthly loves:

Music

Kentucky

And who knows why, but me.

His love is of the most devoted nature. Consistent. Unconditional. I'm blessed that way.

So yesterday as I watched him hand over his beloved bass guitar to a completely unworthy stranger, my heart sank. And a sickness crept up my spine that I carried with me most of the day.

It wasn't just a piece of wood he was getting rid of...It was himself. It was his worldly identity as a musician that he has treasured for so long. Music was one of his constants in this ever-changing world. And now it's gone.

We drove to Cincinnati to sell it, so we decided to go through Lexington on our way home to Bowling Green.

Brandon grew up near Lexington and has since had visions of the perfect little house with the basement that sits in the middle of the most green, grassy field that a kid could hope to play in.

Since he was a kid, he's dreamed of going back. I think part of him thought maybe he had imagined this place.

I've listened hours upon hours of him talking about that wonderful old house with the basement and the memories that he holds so dear..."Mom making fish sticks while I adventured with the farmer's baby calf" "Dad taking me running with him on cold mornings when I could smell the tobacco from the neighbors barn" "My faithful dog, Scout, saving me from the pains of death almost inflicted by the treacherous mountain lion"...

It was his happy place, a 7 year old boy's heaven.

The tales go on and on. And it's never been hard to tell that this place, to him, contained some sort of unearthly magic that would always be his.

And after so many years of pining for this long lost love, we went back.

I can only imagine how he felt as he turned down that familiar dusty road after fifteen long years of dreaming about that moment. I can imagine the anticipation growing, the lump rising in his throat as he imagined how it would feel to sit on this wonderful piece of earth with his wife and two kids.

And then we found it.

An old, worn down, lifeless house sitting on the most overgrown piece of property I've ever seen.

It bore no resemblance to that mystical place in his dreams. And I could tell by the silence on his lips and the confused, horror struck expression on his face that he had just lost his oldest, dearest friend.

He got out of the car, slowly looking around, and walked a few paces to the back of the house. He stood for a minute, turned, and walked back to the car.

And we went home.

The things we love in this world were never meant to last...And they don't.

But he's found a new love, one that never turns to dust. And he's given up everything to be faithful to it.

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 16:25

"Fair are the meadows, fair are the woodlands,
Robed in the blooming garb of spring:
Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer,
Who makes the woeful heart to sing" Pin It