Keep your eye on the prize!

I soooo desire to be a Godly woman.

I read Proverbs 31 and my heart flutters with excitement as I mentally prepare new ways to live out this passage practically in my life.

I bake homemade bread, and I buy books on training up Godly children and becoming a Godly wife. I decorate my home and wash the dishes and sweep the floors-- all in the attempt to "look well to the ways of my household".

A woman at church the other day offered to come help me with laundry one following day of the week. I laughed with gratitude and beamed proudly that I was all caught up with laundry. She stopped me short saying, "Oh I know! You're the mom who has it all together! Maybe I can just play with the kids and let you rest?"

(Of course, my mom is chuckling to herself as she reads. I can hear her now. "Callie? My Callie has it all together? Ha!")

See, I let the mask fall off around my mama. She can peel back the layers of my heart-- laying bear the raw, ugly reality behind the Proverbs woman visage!

Even when I have it all together on the outside, I so often fail at Godliness. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say, I rarely succeed at Godliness!

I am terrified at the thought of being a pastors wife! I am selfish and needy. I make HUGE idols of acceptance and love. I'm fickle and inconsistent. I take on way more than I can handle, then let people down. I suck up praise and attention like a sponge! Oh man, I am a huge mess!

I can feel myself breaking out in a cold sweat when I think about being put under a microscope by a congregation or session. Nervously biting my fingernails I think, "Oh my...what will they uncover?"

But do you know what God does?

Right in the midst of all my worrying and planning and reorganizing--my striving relentlessly to keep my eye on the Proverbs 31 prize...

I read His Word. And He graciously and loving says to me once again, "Child, I am the prize. Take your eyes off the fruit and put them on me! I'll worry about the fruit. Just love me!"

And just like that, the panic stops.

I get so caught up in the pursuit of being the Godly woman that I forget to love and seek Jesus!

There is no "being the Proverbs woman" without the work of the Spirit. And am I in pursuit of the Spirit? No! I'm in the pursuit of good works!

Silly girl, seek Him! Stop making gods of things that aren't God! The goal is not to achieve a certain level of Godliness. The goal is to love Him! The delight is not in being the Proverbs 31 woman. The delight is in knowing Him. And in knowing Him, I will become the Godly woman!

The Pastor John Piper says,

"To delight in the good of all the universe, but not to delight in God, is like being glad that a candle is lit, but being indifferent to the rising sun. Apart from embracing God as our chief delight, we are (quite literally) infinitely parochial."

I know I'm not the only one guilty of this. Let's delight in Him, ladies! Let's take our eyes off the candle, and fix our eyes on the Son!

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